When Thomas Died
by JustJetteJuliette
Summary: This is exactly what was running through Thomas's mind when Ariana killed him.


**Hey! So, this is my first Private fic. I've done stuff for Avatar, but after reading Last Christmas, I HAD to write this. It was so awesome to know that Thomas really did love Reed more than any other girl he had been with, and I think Josh should be able to know that Thomas doesn't mind him with Reed. So, yeah. I hope you all like it.**

**VQVQVQV**

October of Senior Year

"Thomas!" I heard the cry, but I barely acknowledged it. I let out a small groan similar to the ones I've been letting out for over an hour now- had it only been an hour? It felt like an eternity I've been here. "Thomas. Thomas, it's me." She continued. She yanked off the bag, and I stared into the icy blue eyes of the girl I loved once upon a time.

"I'm here, it's alright. You're safe. I'm here to take care of you." What? "Take care of me?" I asked. "Of course." She told me, and then started to untie me.

Take care of me. The idea almost made me laugh. She brings me out here, ties me up, and leaves me here in the freezing cold. She chooses NOW to take care of me?

"Go to hell." I told her. I didn't really mean it, I was still a little drunk. Even though I didn't love Ariana anymore, I still cared. Actually, I never loved her in the way she loved me, I thought of her like a sister, now that I think of it. Someone I could vent to without worrying about it hurting me in some way. I knew we had sex, I knew she had lost her virginity to me, but that's because I'm nothing but a player. I've lied to and cheated on so many girls, and up until a little while ago, I was enjoying it. I was THE guy, the guy who had it all, hottest girls, loads of money, the bad-boy rep, but that's all changed now. Everything's change now that I have Reed in my life.

"Thomas, I just want to help." She sounded so weak, so small in the expanse field. She grabbed the knots again, and anger bubbled up inside of me. I just snapped.

"Don't touch me. You think I don't know it was you who tied me up like this? You think I didn't recognize your voice?" I yelled. Ariana's voice, a clear bell, a singing bird, a Southern accent, it was gorgeous. It was one of my favorite things about her, that beautiful trilling voice.

"It wasn't me! It was Noelle! I couldn't stop her!" Noelle. I always thought she was kind of a bitch, and with what she does to Reed, that has been confirmed. "I would never hurt you." She pleaded. "I love you. You love me too. You have to."

She made it sound like a threat. "Or what? What are you gonna do to me, Ariana? Kill me? Just like you killed-"

"Stop it. You're drunk. You don't know what your saying. You're not thinking clearly."

This time I did laugh. Not thinking clearly? With Reed? Everything was crystal-clear!

"The thing is, for the once in my life, I actually am. Everything is clear now that I have Reed in my-"

"Don't you dare say that name. She's not like us, and you know it. She's a nobody, Thomas. A nothing."

Reed? Nothing? That wasn't possible. Reed was everything. She was the best thing in my life, The shining diamond in the ash of my life. She was _the one._ She was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the only girl I could ever imagine being with.

"She's everything! She's everything you're not, Ariana. Don't you get it? I love her." Those three words. Those three words I've repeated so many times, to so many girls. Those three words that I am now using for Reed. Those three words. They have become meaningless in my life, used to describe every women I've ever been with. It didn't describe Reed. She deserved better than leftover words. So, so much more.

"No, you love me!" She screamed. I didn't believe her. I would never believe her. "Everything I did for you, for us!" She yelled. "There is no us." I replied. Because there wasn't. I no longer wanted to be with her. Whenever I imagined US, I could only think of Reed. The only girl for me. The only girlfriend I wanted to be boyfriend with. The only wife I wanted to be husband with.

The only other half that I wanted to be whole with.

"No us?"

"Not anymore. Not after the things you did. The things _we_ did." Killing Sergei, killing Mel, cheating on her boyfriend, having sex in his room, having an affair…

"But I'm going to fix it." I whispered, not entirely sure whether it was to Ariana or to me. "Make it right. I have to."

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"I'm going to the police. I'm going to tell them everything. I'm coming clean, about you, about me. And maybe while I'm there I'll tell them I'll tell them what you and your little Billings friends did to me tonight, too."

"No. No, no, no. You'll ruin everything. My life will be over. Please. Please don't do this to me." I almost gave in. I didn't want to ruin Ariana, didn't want to hurt her. But I felt something stronger come up. It triumphed everything, and I recognized it as the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole life.

My love for Reed.

"I have to. For Reed. She deserves the truth." And more. She deserves so much more than I could give her, more than I was going to give her, she deserved more than me, She deserved the best.

She deserved Josh.

"Thomas." She groaned. "I can't let you do this to me. I can't let you ruin me, _leave_ me. I'm sorry, but I just can't."

"You're fucking insane. I should have known. Just like your mother." Why did I say that? Me, of all people, should know not to say that.

"Stop it! I'm nothing like her! Nothing!" She was sobbing uncontrollably. I hated seeing her like this. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop the alcohol taking over, making me say things I would never, ever, mean.

"You were never good enough for me. For anyone."

I would have never meant it. If anything was true, it was the reverse. Ariana may have been a cold blooded killer, she was cruel to everyone, but she was loyal to her friends, and she wasn't a low-life stupid drug-dealer like me.

But she wasn't Reed.

In a few seconds, it didn't matter if I wanted to take it back or not. It didn't matter if I meant anything. It didn't matter if even she was too good for me. Because a few seconds later, she slammed the bat against my ribs.

The force didn't feel unlike being hit by a car. I could feel my bones part, could feel them crack.

By then I knew I would die tonight.

But even though I was doomed to die at this point, I couldn't stop thinking about Josh and Reed. My best friend and the girl of my dreams. It brought me back, to what Josh had said, about three weeks into the trimester.

_Flashback_

_Josh laid on his bed, on his stomach, filling out a worksheet. I was working out an order online. I had been in the deal for a few hours now, and Josh had been doing homework a long time too. I took this as a time to talk to him about something important._

"_Hey, Josh?" _

"_Hmm?" he replied, his brain in an equation. _

"_I was just wondering… what do you think of Reed?"_

_He completely stopped working, sat up, and looked me straight in the eye. He looked confused.  
"Why does it matter? She's not my girlfriend." He continued to stare, but now it seemed as if he was thinking of something else._

"_Josh, I honestly want to know. If you like her, then I have no problem with it. None at all." I waited for his response. He took a deep breath._

"_She's beautiful, Thomas. Everyone here thinks they need plastic surgery and Prada to look good, but she's gorgeous in her soccer uniform. And she's so real, and so sweet, and… she just sounds perfect." _

_I guess he thought I would be mad. With any other girl I probably would be. But Reed was different. If I left for rehab or something, my best friend would be happy with an amazing girl, and the love of my life would be happy with a great boyfriend. It worked out. Reed didn't have to be stuck with shit like me._

_I think Josh was both really surprised and really scared when he opened his eyes and I was sitting on his bed. I'm usually not deep._

"_Josh, I'm asking you this, and if you didn't like her, I would never ask this. I can't be with her forever, I need to go to rehab, like, really soon, and I can't leave her unprotected. If anything happens to me, if I leave for rehab, die, or something like that, I want you to take care of Reed."_

_End Flashback_

At the time, I was counting on rehab. I never dreamed something like this would happen.

But I was dying, and the only peace of mind I could get was knowing the two most important people in my life would be taking care of each other.

Reed, my beautiful Reed, who I would love to the end of time, who could sit there and listen to me, and I could listen to her just as easily.

Josh, my best friend, who helped me through terrible hangovers, who drove me home when I was too drunk or high to do it myself.

With each other. That was the only thing I could feel good about, and surprisingly, that was enough. I also knew I would be watching over them both, putting in whatever help a dead guy could here and there, even if it was just a little voice in the back of their heads.

Ariana slammed the bat against my skull.

It was the same pain, the same feeling of cracking a toothpick. The pain in my head was unbearable, I just wanted it to stop. Numbing blackness clouded my vision, It sucked out everything, and I was just too eager to submit.

_Goodbye, Josh, you were the best._

_Goodbye, Reed, I love you._

_Please, take care of each other._

That was the last thing I thought before the blackness swallowed me completely, blocking every thought, every memory, every word, and sending me into an eternal sleep.

**VQVQVQV**

**Sweet, huh? I almost cried writing that. Yeah, so that's why Josh is all protective of Reed with the Billings Girls. I just want to say that even though he was a drunk and a drug-dealer, I loved Thomas, and I still think Reed and Josh should be together FOREVER, (with Ivy as their close friend) I still wish Thomas didn't have to die.**

**So, I hoped you all liked that! REVIEW!**


End file.
